“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes
(Source: kawhoru)
SERIOUSLY TREES WHAT ARE YOU DOING
NOW THIS FUCKER’S LIVING ON THE EDGE
NOW THIS TREE’S FUCKING COLORFUL
TREE GO HOME YOU ARE DRUNK
NOW THEY’RE IN A KNOT HOW THE FUCK
HOLY FUCK TREES STOP
TREES OFMDZDGJKHADFKLJG
its hard to be a good person when everyone is so stupid
and you’re like
So accurate it hurts
I’ve almost cried a couple of times in the past..
im sorry i think you meant every convention i have ever attended
(Source: toots-toots)
one time in school i was super stressed so i turned to my friend and i was like “ugh i feel like killing myself” and she turned around and looked at me super seriously and goes “well that’s unfortunate but see tomorrow hopefully you’ll wake up and you won’t want to kill yourself” and i think she indirectly gave me the best life advice ever
